Tag Archives: writing

First Time in Chicago: Women’s Wisdom – Rebirthing Ourselves with Soul

Women’s Wisdom – Rebirthing Ourselves with Soul
Balance. Integration. Expression.
Taught by Women’s Empowerment Coach, Memoirist and Journey Doll Artist – Victoria Reeves

Creativity and courage enable us to re-define ourselves in our evolution as women. Our roles may include girlfriend, wife, mother, employee, entrepreneur or friend, but who are we aside from those we love? We are not our mothers or grandmothers; we are a new generation of women. Transformative changes spur a nascent need to integrate our experiences into an actualized life path. Women’s Empowerment Coach, Journey Doll Maker, Memoir Writer and Soul Searcher Victoria Reeves will inspire you to visualize your ideal life and plan the steps to bring that vision into reality. Finding the words and images is the beginning. Sign up for all/some of the sessions in this 4 part series:

Session 1: Lecture/Discussion/Handouts – Cultural Messages/Icons of Women * Written Exploration on Changing Identities, Archetypes, and Tapping into Ancestral Power * VISION QUEST interactive event (ALREADY FINISHED)

Session 2 JUNE 8: Lecture/Discussion/Handouts – Creativity as a Vehicle for Healing * DOLL MAKING WORKSHOP! -make a Journey Doll that integrates where you have been and where you are going. All supplies included. Feel free to bring a piece of fabric, button, or bead to add to your doll.

Session 3: JULY 13 Lecture/Discussion/Handouts – Imagining and Affirming Your Synthesized Life * Affirmations as a Vehicle for Actualization * VISION BOARD WORKSHOP – to guide and remind us about our paths

Session 4: AUGUST 10 Lecture/Discussion/Handouts – Forming a Plan of Action * Coaching and Master Mind Activities * OPEN MIKE PERFORMANCE: 5 minute share about your journey/goals/plan in the form of a rap, poem, description, or visual art form * Master Mind activities

$40 per session, by reservation and payable in advance by PayPal to vesltraining@yahoo.com. Call or text Victoria at 206-617-5677 for more information and for private coaching information.



I work with students from around the world, as a private English language tutor.   I am lucky in that I spend my days in cafes, sitting at tables with students from Russia, Japan, Korea, France, Spain, Mexico, and other countries.

Some days we parse out which words are verbs, nouns, adjectives and adverbs.  We construct complex sentences or we deconstruct abstract grammar concepts.  Other days they just want to chat, and we cover everything from politics, to history to cross-cultural communication styles.  These are my favorite sessions, when we can break down the barriers between us and get REAL.

Today, a young student from Russia asked me why I referred to myself as a “Radical Feminist” in  the title of my upcoming memoir –Experiments in Living:  How a Radical Feminist Endured Motherhood on a Suzuki TS250X.

I was happy that he had read my blog and was curious about my writing.

“Great question, which word are you asking about “radical” or “feminist?”  I asked.

“Well, I know what feminist means but radical makes me think you hate men.  It is so extreme.”  he said.

From there a discussion ensued that began with the liberation of African Americans and the MLK Movement.  I told him how many white people felt that any form of “Black Nationalism” or black power was a threat to or indictment of white culture.  We talked about how the liberation of one group does not have to demean or limit another, and how women’s liberation is about empowering women, not hating men.

My journey into feminism began back when I was 13 and going over to a boy’s house to play Monopoly.

As I was leaving, my mom said, “I know you are good at Monopoly, but let him win. Boys like that.”

I proceeded to purchase many houses and hotels,  and to buy up all the properties on the board.

I cannot blame my mother, whose rhetoric was steeped in her 50’s upbringing and the fact that she attended college just to get her M.R.S. degree.

I am not my mother.  I am not my grandmother.

Now that our son has turned 13, I can see how this formative time will set the foundation for many of his decisions and relationships.

Last month my husband and I threw him a birthday party.  Both boys and girls came to his “dinner and a movie” event,  which started at a local hamburger joint.  After eating, the boys all stood up to go and the girls started to clean up the wrappers and cups.

“Woah.  Hold the phone!”  I intercepted.  “Here’s how it works, boys, you ate the food – now you must help clean up too.”

My husband proceeded to assign duties, role modeling.

I re-direct and educate and empower and discuss and enlighten others on a daily basis about the role of women in our society, in our homes, in our schools, and at our jobs.

This is a daily choice and by having these discussions I encourage myself and others to question our assumptions about what it means to be a girl or a boy, a woman or a man.

Who decided that females must cook and clean for men?  Who decided that, in order for men to feel confident, women must be less than, demure, apologetic?

Any real man can handle a woman who is powerful,  and will support his woman in developing her intelligence and creativity.  He will see her evolution as an asset to his own life.

As women, we were born into these bodies and into this American culture at this period of time, but we do not have to accept others’ ideas about what that means for us, what we can (or cannot) do, how we should dress or what we should say.

We are free, and yet we also have the legacy of those who came before us, setting the stage for that freedom and remembering that the each day we make decisions and statements that show us:  the Personal is indeed Political.

The Work of Parenting/Writing/Teaching/Loving

Ok, so Sunday, after a long week of work and going to AWP, I accomplished the following other tasks:

  1. filled my SUV  up with gas
  2. went grocery  shopping with my man
  3. took my kid to Gameworks  Seattle with his friend
  4. paid bills
  5. swept the floors
  6. did the dishes

Then, after all of that, and hearing numerous stories of school and work from my family of 3, I sat down to write, feeling like a balloon that has lost all of its air.

I remember, when our son was a year old and I used to take him in his stroller to a Barnes and Noble near our coach-house in Beverly, Chicago.  I would wear my head-wraps, buy my coffee, read a few pages at a time in a book that I couldn’t afford to buy and look at the other women in the bookstore cafe.  Inevitably, there would be a woman there alone, with make-up on, coiffed hair, and a cute outfit that took more than 5 minutes to assemble.  She always had a relaxed, reflective look on her face and I hated her.  Jealousy of her freedom and independence and matching clothes came off of me in waves that I would try to hide.

It’s different for me now, that my son is 13.  I still long for the luxury of staring at an open closet and wondering what to wear, reading a book from beginning to end and having my biggest concern be the state of my hair.  But I am a part of something more complicated and challenging and fulfilling and poignant now, my family.  These male beings who have been brought into my life challenge me to be more, to balance better, to dig deeper and that, if I keep it in perspective, can help me as a writer.

Our families inspire and challenge us, give us material but also take away our sacred time and mental focus.  Maybe the pressure of having less time forces us to write when we can.  Maybe the multi-tasking of parenthood makes us better at managing deadlines/ second edits, writing in our cars or while waiting at yet another sports practice.

Somewhere on those post it notes, ideas scrawled on a restaurant napkin and late night epiphanies lies a memoir, an article, a novel.  String it together and give it life.  Water it and listen to it and pay it as much attention as another school/work story over dinner.  We deserve this much.

Thoughts on AWP#14 Seattle

I attended the 14th Annual Association of Writers and Writing Programs  (AWP) Conference this past week in Seattle, and it was a  life-changing experience for me.    I took enough notes for fill an entire spiral notebook, and attended about 18 workshops/lectures over a 3 day period, along with navigating a crowd of 15,000 writers, editors, publishers and fellow book lovers.  I slowly networked in the massive bookfair, and met editors/representatives from Creative Non-Fiction, Bitch, The Sun, So to Speak, Phoebe, Boulevard Magazine and more.  I found out about VIDA, Hedgebrook, A Room of Her Own and other organizations that support women writers through workshops, lectures, retreats, fellowships and guidance.

I feel so supported in this journey of writing and publishing.  I feel I am part of this huge community now, and not just a woman sitting on her iPad in a Starbucks listening to The Caravan World Music Show on KBCS FM and trying to find her voice.  Even my Americano tastes better, and I can face down the blank page with courage and conviction that writing is a valid, serious,  and important way to spend yet another rainy Sunday afternoon.